


An Ass and A Half

by artemisleia (fem_castielnovak)



Series: Huxloween 2016 [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Halloween Costumes, House Party, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:57:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8407771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fem_castielnovak/pseuds/artemisleia
Summary: Day 30: Costumes & Costume PartiesMeet-cute idea:Person A comes to a Halloween Party as one half of a two-person costume, and Person B comes to the same party in a thematically related costume"A cowboy walks into a party looking for a drink and comes across half of a horse ..."





	

**Author's Note:**

> This meet-cute idea is so satisfying but the saddest part is that I specifically thought of this exact Kylux scenario in order to come up with it. 
> 
>  

 

 

This was a mistake. There have many moments these past few weeks when Hux had considered this party a mistake - when Finn had first invited him, when Finn had told him it would be a costume party and that is would be at his frat house, when Phasma had taken him costume shopping, this morning when he woke up, as he was getting dressed for it - but only now has it become a reality. And the reality is, that this party is not what he was promised, and that he does not fit in here. 

 _'A real fun time with great people,'_ Finn had told him with a grin.

 _'A means of getting laid_ _,'_ Phasma had insisted resolutely. 

 _'Plenty of free drinks,'_ he'd overheard Poe Dameron promising. 

He has yet to see an unopened drink, or a communal bottle of alcohol. And Hux, being the lucky bastard he is, has found himself lost in a sea of straight people dressed with the obvious intent of attracting other straight people. When Phasma had brought him along with her to the party store, there was only the purpose of getting decorations for her apartment. But they'd somehow managed to end up with Hux parading around in a variety of outfits and Phasma telling him to "just pick one, already." At the time, he'd thought that his choice was the least ridiculous and most form-flattering option. But with every superhero, creature of horror, and punny outfit that he walks past, he feels more and more out of place. He'd told Phasma that he should have gone with something twinky. At least then, he might have gotten one of these drunk frat boys to cave to some of their more bromantic inclinations. In his chaps and his stetson hat, he just feels like a cartoon character. 

At some point earlier, he'd lost Phasma and for the past ten minutes he's been focused solely on finding a drink. After he's got one he'll start looking for his companion, or at least  _someone_ that he-

"Hux!" exclaims a bright and buoyant voice from somewhere off to his left. He's caught between acknowledging whoever it is that knows him, and making an escape though the tightly packed crowd to avoid personal embarrassment. He's saved having to make the choice when a warm hand drops onto his shoulder. "You made it!"

Hux turns, a polite smile pasted onto his face now that the speaker is close enough for him to recognize, "I said I was coming, didn't I?"

Finn grins back at him, "I guess you did. Your costume's great by the way." The sad part is that Hux is sure he means the compliment genuinely. Hux takes a cursory glance at the incredibly revealing Sexy Cop costume that Finn is sporting.

"Yours isn't half bad either," Hux taps his finger on the shiny plastic of the shield over his heart. 

"Thanks. How long have you been here?"

"Not long enough to find a drink. Do you know where I could get one?"

"Sure, the kitchen's fully stocked." Hux tries to jump in and ask for directions but Finn keeps talking, "Speaking of, have you seen Poe Dameron yet? He owes me a match of beer pong. Oh! That reminds me, Phasma was looking for you earlier. Said you'd come to the party together but that she'd lost you in the crowd."

"Yes, well we both seem to have lost each other."

Finn throws his head back and laughs loud and clear, like Hux was having a go at dry humor rather than stating a fact. 

Hux takes the opportunity to jump back in with, "Could you tell me-"

"There he is! Poe!" Finn points and shouts over the throng. "Poe! Over here!"

Thinking this might be his chance to escape, Hux makes to squeeze through the wall of people behind him, only to find his arm gripped tight by one of Finn's athletically strong hands moments before said hand drags him towards where Hux assumes Poe must be. He sighs, resigned to a fate of small talk over loud music. It's not that Hux doesn't consider Poe or Finn decent company. He's even mildly grateful to the two of them and their frat for hosting. He'd just ... rather get drunk than hang out with them. Particularly tonight. 

"Finn, my man!" Poe, with his ever-dashing smile whirls on them and throws and arm over Finn's shoulders. "Where've you been?"

"Looking for you, jerk. I've been waiting too long to kick your ass at a game of beer pong."

 _'Here we go,'_ Hux thinks. 

"Fan- _tastic_ , costume by the way," Poe leers.

Finn puffs out his chest a bit and gives a little salute, "Thanks. But my booty shorts have nothing on your spandex. Shazam, right?" He points at the gold lightning bolt bisecting his friend's torso.

"Got it in one," Poe smiles blindingly and the dark curl coiled perfectly at the peak of his forehead bounces as the two of them laugh. Finn's nose stays crinkled even as he regains his composure. Honestly, Hux wishes they'd  at least do him the courtesy of taking this half-assed friendly flirting somewhere far away from him. 

"Hey, did you come here with someone?" Hux hears Poe say, and it takes a minute to register that he's speaking to him and not Finn. 

"What? Oh. Yes."

Poe's face slips into a lopsided smirk, "I like the idea, dude, but I gotta say, the effect is kind of lost without the two of you standing next to each other."  
Hux's brow furrows.  
"I mean, _your_ costume is fine on it's own, but he's the one I feel sorry for."

"He?"

"Yeah, the guy you came with," Poe laughs a little, like he suspects that he might definitely be having a conversation with someone who's stoned. 

"No, I came with a woman. Tall, blond, dressed as Link."

"Oh, my mistake," Poe says distractedly, looking out into the crowd. 

"Is there someone else wearing a cowboy costume?" Hux frowns.

"No - the horse guy."

"Horse guy?" he asks, but the question is apparently rhetorical because now he's sure that he's lost Poe's attention. Only when Hux gives a disgruntled sigh, Poe glances back at him. Hux tries to wave him away, but it must not be very convincing. 

"Hey now," Poe says with a grin, "I'm pretty sure this town's big enough for the both of you," he winks and claps Hux on the shoulder before walking off towards a new group of people. For a moment, Hux wonders where Finn got off to, but then he realizes he can now get back to his initial task.   
After a few minutes of worming his way through the tightly knit bodies, Hux begins to regret not pushing harder to get directions from either Finn or Poe. A few more minutes and he's begun to get strange looks from nearby people. He wonders if he hasn't circled past here already, and he's also certain that he won't be able to bring himself to ask for help. The wandering continues for a few more minutes. He's just convinced himself that if he talks to anyone, they'll only make a Brokeback joke, when he rounds a corner and finally finds himself in the kitchen. He's greeted by the lovely sight of an open, well-stocked bar, bowls full of snacks, and - ...

A shirtless man wearing only plush, costume horse legs held up by suspenders. _Horse Guy_ , his brain supplies. They stare at each other for a moment. 

"Where'd your shirt go?" is the first, semi-intelligent he thinks of saying.

The two-legged centaur just stares at him over his cup with one brow cocked curiously. Hux quickly turns to the table where he pours himself an over-large drink and grabs a handful of snacks. He thinks that the semi-centaur might be watching him, but he certainly isn't going to get caught sparing a glance to check and see. He bends over to scoop some ice out of a cooler on the floor. A low hum from the other man breaks his resolve. Hux throws an accusing squint over his shoulder. Horse Guy is checking out his ass, and okay, this could be-

"I thought you might be wearing assless chaps."

Hux stands up ramrod straight, breaking eye contact as fast as he can, scooping up his refreshments and sweeping out of the room.   
Walking down the dim hallway towards the music, he throws back his glass to take a gulp. He didn't realize he'd been holding out hope for even a mildly interesting encounter from the horse-costumed stranger. How underwhelming.

He stops on the outskirts of the dance floor and tucks his snack bowl under one arm to free up a hand to eat with. It doesn't take long for him to spot Phasma in the middle of the room. Even in the dim lighting, her bright green cap and height-advantage have her standing out. He watches, dipping repeatedly into his snack bowl, until she accidentally makes eye contact with him. Her brow furrows and Hux wishes she hadn't looked up just as he was licking his fingers off. He should have brought a napkin. A small herd of dancers shift in front of him and Phasma escapes his sight-line. He scans the crowd but a jab to the ribs interrupts him.

"Why are you over here stuffing your face instead of activating your gaydar?"

Of course; she'd only disappeared in order to try and catch him off guard. 

"For your information, we are in a fraternity house. My gaydar hasn't pinged once."

"So look for a little brotherly love or a friendly hand. They can't  _all_ be straight."

"Try telling them that," Hux sneers, watching a boy in front of him try to reach up the skirt of a girl rubbing up against him with determined purpose. 

Phasma sighs, "I have it on good authority from multiple sources that this is the place to be tonight if you're young, queer, and need some beer."

"Please tell me you're quoting someone and didn't come up with that all on your own."

She snickers, "Someone has to."

" _Lord_ ," Hux rolls his eyes and takes a slug from his cup.

The song changes and Phasma glances out to the dancers and then sideways at him, "I've heard that your better half is running around this party somewhere."

"I've met him," Hux tells her, sipping pointedly from his cup. "It was less amusing than I've been led to believe it would be."

"Funny, someone told me he was built and running around here shirtless."

Hux frowns, "He's crass."

Phasma rolls her eyes, "Don't tell me I'm going to have to rhyme 'crass' and 'ass' in order to get you to go find him. It's beneath me."

"Ass?"

"As in  _get some_. I'm guessing he made an innuendo about your costume?" At Hux's frown she just continues, "Reverse cowgirl? Something about you riding him? Needing a place to hang your hat?"

"The chaps," Hux deadpans.

"Ah." She ponders it and then offers, "It could have been worse."

"No it couldn't have."

Phasma scoffs at him, "You're being petty."

"And?" He asks rhetorically. "When am I not?" 

She shoots him a look but he just holds out his half-empty cup and lets her have a few sips. Phasma clears her throat, then declares determinedly, "I'm going back out. There's a mermaid I have to find."

Hux barely holds back a snort, "Good luck, Captain Ahab."

Phasma grins wickedly, "When have I ever gone after great, white whales? She's tall, but Indian and tinier than a church-mouse. Wish me luck."

Hux raises his glass to her as she worms between the writhing bodies. He considers dipping back into his snack bowl twice in between the time she departs and the moment that someone steps up beside him. 

"Do you believe in destiny?" a low voice asks him, at least semi-seriously.

Hux feels his forehead crease even before he registers who it is standing beside him. Horse Guy sips from a solo cup.  

"Don't tell me this is because of ..." he drifts off as he gestures between the two of them and their correlated outfits. 

Horse Guy glances at him and then shrugs awkwardly. 

Hux cannot believe it. He is not drunk enough for this. 

"I am not drunk enough for this."

Horse Guy snorts and then there's a moment of silence. 

 

"You didn't ask me why I was only wearing half a costume."

 

"That's correct, I did not." Hux doesn't bother pointing out that they'd said all of two sentences to each other, collectively before this. 

"Everyone who's seen me has remarked on it at least a little," he continues as if Hux hadn't said anything. He brings his cup back to his lips but doesn't actually appear to take a drink.

Hux gives him an expectant look, "Well?"

"My cousin bailed on me at the last minute. She's got the other half of it."

Hux sips his drink, "How were you planning on doing anything at a party while dressed in a full-body, two-person costume?"

Horse Guy stares at him contemplatively, "Nobody else has asked me that. And to be honest," he breaks eye contact with Hux, "I can't say that I actually have an answer."

"Maybe that's why you cousin bailed on you." Horse Guy gives him a puzzled glance. "She realized what a shitty costume idea it was."

Horse Guy looks like he wants to laugh - he shakes his head and the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. He shifts bodily and holds his hand out to Hux, "Kylo Ren."

"Gesundheit?" Hux asks, buying himself a moment to set down his snack bowl and discretely wipe off his hands against each other. 

Thankfully, the other boy at least seems to find the remark amusing. He inclines his head and restates, "Hi, my name is Kylo."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Ren," Hux says, deliberately using the half of the name that Kylo hadn't repeated. "I'm Hux." Hux reaches out to take his hand and matches the firm grip. He watches a careful look pass over Ren's face as they shake and he thinks-

"Would you like to go make out in the upstairs storage closet?"

Hux holds back a scoff and resolutely doesn't let himself take a second look over the toned, barrel chest behind the costume suspenders. He sets down his glass. 

"Will there be bestiality jokes involved during any of this?"

Ren's face pinches which is a good sign, "I can't promise that Poe won't give us shit for ... 'horsing around' if he catches us in his house's supplies closet. But no, there will be nothing of the sort from me." 

This time, Hux allows himself a smirk. He makes a sweeping gesture towards the staircase, "Then lead the way."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The meet cute idea is my own but please, dear God, let this become a trope, I love it so much.
> 
> Welcome to the garbage chute. Odds are, if you're reading this, you aren't getting out of it anytime soon. The trash compactor is in use, comms are up, comments and kudos are down below with the uncrushable monsters. Thank you for joining us here, we hope you enjoyed the slide. ~artemisleia


End file.
